Day #4 and #5: My Worst Nightmare Came Home From Work

     I love my husband.  I love him terribly and I always will.  I can not imagine my life without him and I truthfully, almost don't remember life without him in the past.  It feels like we grew up together and sometimes I look at him and laugh in remembrance of something that he has no idea about - like part of my brain put him there for my 8yr old memory of something funny I did.  But, for this goal and project of mine, he is not a great component.  The reason is not because he doesn't love me, he doesn't care about my goal, or something crazy like that.  The reason is because he loves me so much that he wants to "fix" my "pack rat tendencies" as he calls them, and because his manners and mine are about as different at hot oil and water.  His methods of cleaning is to literally dump drawers and scrape contents of shelves into a garbage bag and run it to the dump -- DONE and move on to something else.  My method involves much more handling, many questions, nostalgia, and optimally I'd have a buddy there to sit and listen to stories that I remember about each item.  Hours and days later, I'd still have the same mess.  Somewhere in the middle is a good ground but neither of us have found that yet.
    Days #4 and #5 did not go as I had planned. Well, they were Thursday and Friday and the days just fell apart for me and my project.  It took me A.L.L.  D.A.Y. to get my stuff into piles of similar things; pants here, tops there, shoes here, lounge clothes there. Seriously??? I refuse to be disheartened.  I will own this mess! I did actually move out some disgusting shoes and things I knew would not re-enter my closet, but when I went to bed, here is what I had:

 End of Day#4

   
     Day#5, just happened to be a day Will was home from work - hence the title of my blog .....I told you he was the one thing I have been avoiding during this whole project :).  This is why I started so many days ago, because who would dream that my closet contents would still be on the couch?!?! I was in serious trouble now! After breakfast, he grabbed his coffee and I could feel the weight of his staring.  I avoided eye contact until the last possible minute -- crud, he was talking to me.  It's hard to go unnoticed in our living room.  I was sorting, folding, tossing, and he asks, "So, what is your plan for the day?"  I wondered how he could question that, since I was standing immersed in a junk pile on the couch. Long story short, he wanted to start on Ellie's bedroom while he had some free time.  That did not go along with my KonMari plan at all but this was one of those pivotal times that a wife has, to show her husband that he does make decisions for the family and that she will support him.  I tried to hide my defiance (not sure I did that 100% but I tried!!) and we went downstairs to decide a plan of action.  Ellie's room was storage/movie room and it has to be empties, carpet ripped out, wallpaper removed, walls painted, and a closet built.  Don't you think that will mess up my closet project - yes!

     So look at this and see my frustration because THIS mess just got bumped in priority over my couch; this mess that has been here for two year already; THIS mess that KonMari says should come next to last because it is way closer to my emotional storage things (piles).  Will and kids started moving furniture out, cleaning off walls, and my job was to "do something with your junk, so we can walk in here."  I thought that'd be easy because after all I have committed to the KonMari system and I no longer let things rule me. The first shelf had piles of papers from my Thesis that I never organized; old Bible story books I needed to sort through; a stack of cool projects I want to do at the house; a stack of "How to Start a Photography Biz" that I need to read; and all of a sudden I notice he is staring at me again.  I cried, he got very confused, I said I need to be alone, he left, everyone was tense and it was my fault.
     I did the only thing I could do.  I got disgusted that my junk was such a downer for my family today, and I crammed it all  in boxes that got crammed into my sewing room (with the other crammed boxes of crammed stuff).  We just hit the heart of why I  am doing this!!  Starting with my closet was supposed to ease me into this but as the Heaths do it -- we have slammed right into the heart of the issue.  That is his style and today I realized that maybe it's not so bad because after two hours, here is what the room looked like!
     I began again to sort my piles of clothes and Will thought he would do the same.  I got excited! Yes, we'll do this together!  Nope - wrong.  Within 20 minutes, he had piled an entire garbage bag of clothes to  donate, emptied four drawers, and cleaned his entire closet.  His efficiency KILLS ME!! I worked on my stuff until it was time to get sheep, feed sheep, check eggs, wash clothes, make supper (Will actually did that), and have family time.  I got piles of tops going in a chair and I filled up two bags to donate.  Here's my progress:

End of Day #5

   

Day #3 -- First Day of Work

    I decided last night to stop playing around with this whole mess of organizing and decluttering.  Today a friend came over and looked at the house with me, room by room, and gave me her thoughts on where she thinks the problem areas really are, and where I should start. She and her visit today was such a blessing.  Her kids played with mine and she said, "Don't be so hard on yourself. Your house really isn't that bad!"  It felt so great to hear that and as I looked around I realized that she is right, it's not as bad as I feel like it is sometimes.  Instead of focusing on all the projects we HAVE finished here, I get focused on what is left to be done.
     We also shared our vulnerabilities and how neither of us minds going to a friend's messy house but we don't want to be the one whose house is messy when company comes over.  Isn't it amazing that God created women to be the mothering, forgiving, loving, nurturing, intuitive, empathetic sex, yet we don't always portray that to other women and we rarely expect that from women.  I mean, if a man comes over and sees my messy house I will probably say "excuse the mess" or something cliche, but if it's a woman I get sweaty, nervous, embarrassed, and just totally freaked out.  That is the time that those negative voices slip in and start whispering what a bad housekeeper I am, and therefore a bad mother, a bad wife, a bad hostess, a bad friend, a bad daughter, and just a bad 'everything'; AND what is worse is ....SHE knows it now because she just saw what lives under your couch - you lazy slob!
     What we should expect from our lady friends is that the truth is they understand because they have the same beings living under their couches, and even more, they didn't actually see it. What they did see was the ONE thing you managed to clean before they got there (maybe you smeared off your kids' sticky urine lines down the toilet and into the floor, using a baby wipe) and they begin to hear all those voices that you heard earlier; how they are a lazy slob and should clean like you do.  WOW - if we could get all our voices together we would be amazed at how great a job we are all actually doing, and how every woman wants to be like someone else, who is in fact, just like them already.
     After she left, I felt so refreshed and energized and understood.  A hundred pounds was lifted off of me and I finally decided to DO IT ALL just because I can!  I am going to KonMari my house like the book says (in categories) but I'm also going to work on organizing my house by room (like my friend says).  Her guidance was finish the Laundry Room and Downstairs Bathroom this week, mainly because they are almost done.  So that is my goal for the rest of the week - I have FIVE DAYS to finish organizing those two rooms.  In the meanwhile, I will KonMari all my clothes.
     So, I had AWANA tonight and couldn't finish but at least I got started.  I got all of my clothes, shoes, coats, accessories, and purses into the living room in a huge pile on the couch.  I'll sort it tomorrow but I have begun.  I can not say that I have always been a minimalist but I can definitely claim to have almost always been a purist, a recycler, a reuser, a conservationist, and a pretty much guilty consumer of excess.  What I mean is I am innately drawn to things that are natural, practical, can be used for multiple things, and I have always been grossed out by excess (except for chocolate ice cream).  I am almost embarrassed to say I watch all of the movie Captain Fantastic (the language is beyond atrocious) but I actually watched it twice because Viggo Mortenson plays "me" - he plays the very extreme side of how I feel about kids, education, and living life.  If you see it you'll think "wow, I never saw her that way" but remember I said he plays the pretty extreme side of what my general beliefs are.  Let me say that our main differences are that he is not a Christian, and his political views are a little warped.  I love where the movie ended and he raised a family that realized the sickness of gluttony and how to push yourself to be better.
     In the movie, the kids have never visited a city before and they go inside a bank and are horrified at the overweight people (who to you and I are average weight).  They can't stop looking and they ask him "are they sick??" It's a funny part of the movie but there it made me think.  Today as I piled my stuff onto my couch I felt like those kids did when they were shocked.  This pile makes me sick.  I am very blessed to have all this stuff but it doesn't feel like a healthy blessing of goods here - it looks like a gluttonous excess of junk and it's no wonder that I am feeling so stressed here.

     Our couch is huge. That laise on the right side of this pic is like a twin bed - it holds me and Will next to each other and then like three other people down the left side.  I feel so much lighter just having this pile out of my closet.  I will sleep better with the fresher air in my bedroom.  Tomorrow I will show you what this pile changed into.  Will is into this now and he wants to go next.  The kiddos are willing to do it too so look out Delta -- we are about to clothe some families :).  Someone said hold a yard sale but I think I can lose some of my guilt by just passing it along.  Anybody, just anybody .... zoom in on this picture and tell me if you can spot ONE thing you have seen me wear - EVER.  I bet you can't find 5 pieces.  Watch this video.  This lady starts crying and says how grateful she feels when she sees the pile of "stuff".  I love this! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv4pBhN93L0

Master Bedroom and Movie Room

     I thought hard about which room to start with and I chose my Master Bedroom for two reasons:  Me and Will.  We work so many hours, do so many things, and at some point in the day we would love to retire to a bedroom that offers rest, rejuvenation, and relaxation.  My mind ran rampant with ideas of canopy beds, billowy curtains, plush rugs stretching out from under a bed full of Mediterranean styled pillows and thick, silky covers.  The pallet wall behind my bed will be wired for bronze bedside lamps and the lush, tropical plants will fill the corners of the room.  An hour later, with a headache I realized I am on the same path of failure that plagues me and people like me - Perfectionists.

     I used to think a Perfectionist was someone who is perfect.  I thought they were organized, punctual, clean, polished (as my momma calls it), with bright white teeth and clean fingernails.  Ironically, many times just the opposite is true.  The perfectionists can be spotted from miles away.  They are the hectic people who sometimes do not accomplish anything because they wait for all the stars to line up, before they act on their goals.  In this case, I would normally turn this Challenge to Organize into a Challenge to Decorate and those two things are completely different.  So I am officially breaking this into two separate things.

     Monday, I will start to declutter and create organization in my home that will allow every single thing I own to have its own particular spot.  I will not waste anymore time moving things (my piles) around from one spot to another.  I will not pile up things right now, just because I'm not sure what to do with them.  I will waste no more time looking for things because I forgot where I put it.  When I am finished de-cluttering and organizing each room of my house, I'd like to turn around and start decorating more.  We have some big plans for our kitchen and upstairs bathroom but those aren't things I will do in two weeks.

     I will start with the Master Bedroom on Monday morning.  I think the first step should be to remove anything and everything that does not match my goal for that room.  What's my goal for that room?  I don't 100% know but I will on Monday!!  My incentive to hurry is that if I finish organizing the current area within the timeline I have, then I can start decorating;  but I can only decorate up until my time runs out for that room.  Any decorating project that is not 100% finished, can not stay - so that will keep me from starting big projects that I can not finish.

     My entire house is broken into ten areas but I did not include the garage because it is a monster!  I have to do complete two areas each week, to finish in five weeks.  So you see how this can not be a "decorating" challenge!  I am going to show y'all how my house looks on a normal day so it may or may not be clean the way it would be if company was going to come over.  My momma may just go into hiding when she sees this go public; and for goodness sake don't show my Granny how much dog hair is under my couch!!  I am going to show very personal stuff and I hope you will all follow the blog and leave me comments and suggestions!  If you think of great decorating ideas, please send them in!!  My ten areas are:

(1) Master Bedroom

(2) Movie Room

(3) Hallway and Bathroom Upstairs

(4) Kitchen and Living Room

(5) Front door foyer and stairs

(6) Foyer at bottom of stairs (school room maybe)

(7) Ellie's bedroom & Garrett's bedroom

(8) Laundry Room and Bathroom downstairs

(9) Sewing Room/Craft Room

(10) Front Porch and Back Deck

I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU!!

It is official!  The gauntlet has been thrown at my feet and I have to get off my toosh and do something.  You see, I am "that" person who could never, ever, ever sidestep the Double Dog Dares, nor did I want to.  I'm a Virgo and I hear we lead the way in avoiding conflicts and I am not remotely a competitive person (except with myself), BUT when a dare or a personal challenge is thrown at me I fall for it every single time.  This time may actual work for my benefit though.  The dare was to completely organize my entire home in 5 weeks.  This requires me to break my house into 10 zones and organize 2 zones per week for 5 weeks. He said "I'm giving you a challenge" but he may well have said "I Double Dog Dare you" so I jumped at it. Of course I can do it! I can do anything!

     Can I do this???  Can I have a completely organized and de-cluttered house in 5 weeks?  I think I could do it in ONE but the question really is can I do this while also keeping the house clean, cooking, teaching homeschool, working (I do have an actual away-from-home office and job), teach Sunday School and AWANA, get me and the kids to Bible Study, Cub Scouts, Music, Computer Club, Family Night at church, get groceries, study for Battle of the Books (technically Ellie's job but what momma doesn't help prepare??), take care of the farm, and I could go on and on with the Dare Defying activities I perform daily.  And on top of this I am supposed to Completely Organize Two Zones, each zone has 1-2 rooms, EACH WEEK??  

     When I put my mind to something I will get it done.  I have proved that to myself several times.  Not everybody thought I would graduate from college, give birth with no meds & no hollering, My problem is that I have a tendency to question my idea, question my actions, question my progress, and generally beat myself up before I even get started.  I can't do that this time because I've been Double Dog Dared and I'm about to rock this!!  Who does he think he is, daring ME to organize MY house?  I will show him what I'm made of and I'll make him pay for this challenge by having a party when I'm done, and making him and his whole family come to it.  That'll teach him to challenge me.

     So, starting Monday 13 Feb 2017, I will choose one area of my house to start organizing and I'll document it all for accountability.  I have to remember it doesn't necessarily mean decorating (which is what I know ahead of time will clog me up) but it just means to provide a place for everything to go, eliminate all piles, and have an organized way of moving things/work/projects through so that they are no longer hoarded or piled or cluttered.  And before I can post those pictures public, it means I'll have to clean that room spotlessly.  Lately, when my kids misbehave they get the consequence of earning themselves a chore of some sort.  Handing out chores over the next five weeks should be a breeze.  This is already seeming easier.  

     This weekend I will begin to gather the things I will need come Monday.  I will need my new Young Living cleaner, some cleaning supplies, some paper to draw out my designs, paper to list out my To Do's for each room, and mostly ..... MY MOTHER!  I could ask her to come help me watch the kids so I can concentrate but that's what "she" would like to do.  What's she even better at is de-cluttering and that was unfortunately not a trait that she handed down to me.  Nah, I'll watch the kids and I'll cook blueberry anything for her if she'll just come to Last Frontier and tell me what to throw, move, and move again.  I'll ask her -- right after I clean up all the dog hair under the couch and refrigerator.