Week #2 Repeat -- But I Don't Feel Guilty

     I did not at all complete my goals for last week.  I feel like throwing my hands up and saying "Well, I did great that first week", but I just can't do it.  I refuse to get behind on my declutter goals so I guess I have to merge weeks 2&3 into this week.  So if anyone is sitting around bored this week, don't call and schedule, just show up at my house and start loading up bags of books that you want to  take home, donate, burn, whatever!!

Day#3 Clean Island

     I am on Day#3 of successfully NOT cluttering up my kitchen island.  As I type this it just occurred to me - are any of you like me, where you set goals and before you can finish (or give up) on those, you create other ones???  I do this constantly and I wonder if that is why I don't usually accomplish goals - because I am great at setting goals but not necessarily accomplishing them.  So my next goal is to not set any other goals until I finish this five week one (seriously, no more after that one LOL).  I drew these squares on my letters so I can color in one every night before I go to bed.  It's not easy so I have to make it fun, plus it got the kiddos all fired up about it because they love watching me color in the squares.
 
     I got pics of all my books.  There are so few because about a month ago I dumped 30+ books off at the library in town, donated some others, and burned some others that had ridiculously foul language in them.  I just realized all these pics are out of focus but I'm not going to retake them because you get the picture of the junk all over the shelves.  I looked for a recipe yesterday and realized that my recipe section looks neat but the reality is that when you pull out a book, a hundred little giblets of paper fall out like confetti.  I love to cook but giblets of paper stresses me out -- so why do I do that?  Ask Bob Proctor (google him) - he has the answers but he hasn't explained it to me yet!!

      So sometime tomorrow, all these books are supposed to be snatched from their cozy little book shelves and piled on my couch to be felt and sorted and organized.  I don't know if I can do this again.  That last pile of clothes stayed on my couch entirely too long!
     I gotta remind myself of my goals now.  So this week holds (1) KonMari my books, (2)finish the bathroom (grout, clean, hang hangers on the wall), (3)finish the three pieces of furniture in the garage that go in the kids' rooms, plus (4) KonMari the paper piles in my house, and (5) continue to keep my kitchen island clean.  I am tired now and Monday didn't even start yet.  Better get some good sleep.

Week #1 Accounted For!

     I got busy finishing up last week and couldn't write about it.  I finished out my first week challenge GREAT!!  I ended up cleaning out ALL of my and Will's clothes throughout the entire house, organized the movie room, I got Ellie's new bedroom cleared out, ripped out carpet, painted the walls, installed flooring (with Will), and helped Will hang the new bathroom mirror that he made.  So even though my initial goals were to organize the master bedroom and the movie room, and I changed those mid-way through, I still feel like it was a very productive week and in the end I still got two rooms cleaned out and organized (decorated, no, but that's a backseat goal right now).  Here is a pic of my couch and Ellie's room. I feel so motivated right now!!

Ellie's new bedroom

End of Day#6 - ready to donate

     My goals for this week are to KonMari ALL the books in my house. Since it is Thursday I am already a little behind.  This week has been a blur already with home school, my Granny was put in the hospital 4000 miles away and I can't get to her,
we got three more sheep and 35 more chickens, the weather is warming up and inviting us all outside more, church, Sunday school, AWANA, office hours (I finally went back to work - my boss is glad for this haha), FRG stuff and my new priority for goal setting (and more importantly for sticking with it).  My daddy used to shake his head and laugh at me for jumping around from one thing to another.  I was a teen the first time I remember him mentioning it and because I was a teen (and hence smarter than anyone else I knew) I wondered how in the world he could imagine something like that.  He will be glad to know that it took me 30years or so but I finally got it - and I don't like it anymore!  Tonight I will post my couch overflowing with books I am about to rummage.  That will be much harder than clothes because I don't care much about clothes but I LOVE books. I love all books.  I'm not a fan of kindle books either; I like to feel the weight of it and the different textures of paper, the different smells, the different fonts, and I love to read about the authors and imagine what gave them the idea for that book.
     For now though, I only have pics of my other goal this week.  I have already accomplished it!  It is my kitchen counter.  You all have one of "me" in your families; the person who walks in the door and dumps all their stuff (I mean all) onto the kitchen counter.  My husband does the same thing but the difference in us is that ten minutes later his stuff has been put away, whereas ten days later mine is all still there.  It gets in the way of making meals and everything else you would use a kitchen island counter for. He has been asking for a while for me to stop so this week I have stopped.  Here is how I did it.  I moved everything off the counter and I taped a big "NO" on it using ugly blue tape.  Now, the only thing on the counter is the kids' chore charts for them to mark on each day.  They say it takes 21 days to make a habit (well everybody says a different number) so today is Day#1 towards my new habit of nothing, nothing, nothing on the kitchen island except for chore charts and food stuff.

The mess I woke up to. THIS is stressful!

What I will wake up to from now on - THIS is peaceful!

As I just added the caption to the picture of the cleaned counter I realized it's not actually very peaceful to see that big "NO" glaring at me telling me what I can and can't do.  But that's my motivation to make this habit stick and my reward will be pulling off that ridiculous "NO" and throwing it in the trash (along with my bad habits).

I pray your week is wonderful and I hope you can find a habit that you would like to work on or stop.  I'd love to hear what it is!

Day #4 and #5: My Worst Nightmare Came Home From Work

     I love my husband.  I love him terribly and I always will.  I can not imagine my life without him and I truthfully, almost don't remember life without him in the past.  It feels like we grew up together and sometimes I look at him and laugh in remembrance of something that he has no idea about - like part of my brain put him there for my 8yr old memory of something funny I did.  But, for this goal and project of mine, he is not a great component.  The reason is not because he doesn't love me, he doesn't care about my goal, or something crazy like that.  The reason is because he loves me so much that he wants to "fix" my "pack rat tendencies" as he calls them, and because his manners and mine are about as different at hot oil and water.  His methods of cleaning is to literally dump drawers and scrape contents of shelves into a garbage bag and run it to the dump -- DONE and move on to something else.  My method involves much more handling, many questions, nostalgia, and optimally I'd have a buddy there to sit and listen to stories that I remember about each item.  Hours and days later, I'd still have the same mess.  Somewhere in the middle is a good ground but neither of us have found that yet.
    Days #4 and #5 did not go as I had planned. Well, they were Thursday and Friday and the days just fell apart for me and my project.  It took me A.L.L.  D.A.Y. to get my stuff into piles of similar things; pants here, tops there, shoes here, lounge clothes there. Seriously??? I refuse to be disheartened.  I will own this mess! I did actually move out some disgusting shoes and things I knew would not re-enter my closet, but when I went to bed, here is what I had:

 End of Day#4

   
     Day#5, just happened to be a day Will was home from work - hence the title of my blog .....I told you he was the one thing I have been avoiding during this whole project :).  This is why I started so many days ago, because who would dream that my closet contents would still be on the couch?!?! I was in serious trouble now! After breakfast, he grabbed his coffee and I could feel the weight of his staring.  I avoided eye contact until the last possible minute -- crud, he was talking to me.  It's hard to go unnoticed in our living room.  I was sorting, folding, tossing, and he asks, "So, what is your plan for the day?"  I wondered how he could question that, since I was standing immersed in a junk pile on the couch. Long story short, he wanted to start on Ellie's bedroom while he had some free time.  That did not go along with my KonMari plan at all but this was one of those pivotal times that a wife has, to show her husband that he does make decisions for the family and that she will support him.  I tried to hide my defiance (not sure I did that 100% but I tried!!) and we went downstairs to decide a plan of action.  Ellie's room was storage/movie room and it has to be empties, carpet ripped out, wallpaper removed, walls painted, and a closet built.  Don't you think that will mess up my closet project - yes!

     So look at this and see my frustration because THIS mess just got bumped in priority over my couch; this mess that has been here for two year already; THIS mess that KonMari says should come next to last because it is way closer to my emotional storage things (piles).  Will and kids started moving furniture out, cleaning off walls, and my job was to "do something with your junk, so we can walk in here."  I thought that'd be easy because after all I have committed to the KonMari system and I no longer let things rule me. The first shelf had piles of papers from my Thesis that I never organized; old Bible story books I needed to sort through; a stack of cool projects I want to do at the house; a stack of "How to Start a Photography Biz" that I need to read; and all of a sudden I notice he is staring at me again.  I cried, he got very confused, I said I need to be alone, he left, everyone was tense and it was my fault.
     I did the only thing I could do.  I got disgusted that my junk was such a downer for my family today, and I crammed it all  in boxes that got crammed into my sewing room (with the other crammed boxes of crammed stuff).  We just hit the heart of why I  am doing this!!  Starting with my closet was supposed to ease me into this but as the Heaths do it -- we have slammed right into the heart of the issue.  That is his style and today I realized that maybe it's not so bad because after two hours, here is what the room looked like!
     I began again to sort my piles of clothes and Will thought he would do the same.  I got excited! Yes, we'll do this together!  Nope - wrong.  Within 20 minutes, he had piled an entire garbage bag of clothes to  donate, emptied four drawers, and cleaned his entire closet.  His efficiency KILLS ME!! I worked on my stuff until it was time to get sheep, feed sheep, check eggs, wash clothes, make supper (Will actually did that), and have family time.  I got piles of tops going in a chair and I filled up two bags to donate.  Here's my progress:

End of Day #5

   

Day #3 -- First Day of Work

    I decided last night to stop playing around with this whole mess of organizing and decluttering.  Today a friend came over and looked at the house with me, room by room, and gave me her thoughts on where she thinks the problem areas really are, and where I should start. She and her visit today was such a blessing.  Her kids played with mine and she said, "Don't be so hard on yourself. Your house really isn't that bad!"  It felt so great to hear that and as I looked around I realized that she is right, it's not as bad as I feel like it is sometimes.  Instead of focusing on all the projects we HAVE finished here, I get focused on what is left to be done.
     We also shared our vulnerabilities and how neither of us minds going to a friend's messy house but we don't want to be the one whose house is messy when company comes over.  Isn't it amazing that God created women to be the mothering, forgiving, loving, nurturing, intuitive, empathetic sex, yet we don't always portray that to other women and we rarely expect that from women.  I mean, if a man comes over and sees my messy house I will probably say "excuse the mess" or something cliche, but if it's a woman I get sweaty, nervous, embarrassed, and just totally freaked out.  That is the time that those negative voices slip in and start whispering what a bad housekeeper I am, and therefore a bad mother, a bad wife, a bad hostess, a bad friend, a bad daughter, and just a bad 'everything'; AND what is worse is ....SHE knows it now because she just saw what lives under your couch - you lazy slob!
     What we should expect from our lady friends is that the truth is they understand because they have the same beings living under their couches, and even more, they didn't actually see it. What they did see was the ONE thing you managed to clean before they got there (maybe you smeared off your kids' sticky urine lines down the toilet and into the floor, using a baby wipe) and they begin to hear all those voices that you heard earlier; how they are a lazy slob and should clean like you do.  WOW - if we could get all our voices together we would be amazed at how great a job we are all actually doing, and how every woman wants to be like someone else, who is in fact, just like them already.
     After she left, I felt so refreshed and energized and understood.  A hundred pounds was lifted off of me and I finally decided to DO IT ALL just because I can!  I am going to KonMari my house like the book says (in categories) but I'm also going to work on organizing my house by room (like my friend says).  Her guidance was finish the Laundry Room and Downstairs Bathroom this week, mainly because they are almost done.  So that is my goal for the rest of the week - I have FIVE DAYS to finish organizing those two rooms.  In the meanwhile, I will KonMari all my clothes.
     So, I had AWANA tonight and couldn't finish but at least I got started.  I got all of my clothes, shoes, coats, accessories, and purses into the living room in a huge pile on the couch.  I'll sort it tomorrow but I have begun.  I can not say that I have always been a minimalist but I can definitely claim to have almost always been a purist, a recycler, a reuser, a conservationist, and a pretty much guilty consumer of excess.  What I mean is I am innately drawn to things that are natural, practical, can be used for multiple things, and I have always been grossed out by excess (except for chocolate ice cream).  I am almost embarrassed to say I watch all of the movie Captain Fantastic (the language is beyond atrocious) but I actually watched it twice because Viggo Mortenson plays "me" - he plays the very extreme side of how I feel about kids, education, and living life.  If you see it you'll think "wow, I never saw her that way" but remember I said he plays the pretty extreme side of what my general beliefs are.  Let me say that our main differences are that he is not a Christian, and his political views are a little warped.  I love where the movie ended and he raised a family that realized the sickness of gluttony and how to push yourself to be better.
     In the movie, the kids have never visited a city before and they go inside a bank and are horrified at the overweight people (who to you and I are average weight).  They can't stop looking and they ask him "are they sick??" It's a funny part of the movie but there it made me think.  Today as I piled my stuff onto my couch I felt like those kids did when they were shocked.  This pile makes me sick.  I am very blessed to have all this stuff but it doesn't feel like a healthy blessing of goods here - it looks like a gluttonous excess of junk and it's no wonder that I am feeling so stressed here.

     Our couch is huge. That laise on the right side of this pic is like a twin bed - it holds me and Will next to each other and then like three other people down the left side.  I feel so much lighter just having this pile out of my closet.  I will sleep better with the fresher air in my bedroom.  Tomorrow I will show you what this pile changed into.  Will is into this now and he wants to go next.  The kiddos are willing to do it too so look out Delta -- we are about to clothe some families :).  Someone said hold a yard sale but I think I can lose some of my guilt by just passing it along.  Anybody, just anybody .... zoom in on this picture and tell me if you can spot ONE thing you have seen me wear - EVER.  I bet you can't find 5 pieces.  Watch this video.  This lady starts crying and says how grateful she feels when she sees the pile of "stuff".  I love this! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv4pBhN93L0

Day #2: Feeling Kinda Chicken

    

Well, I got up on time today at least and I finished the book.  I am so motivated that I want to scream and just pack up everything I own onto the trailer outside and drive through town giving it away.  All except my quilting stuff, my ribbon, my fabric, all my books, my clothes that I might be able to wear next year when I lose weight, my six Bible study books that I'm working on, my house plants, the kids' baby things, and.... :).  Riiiight.
     I at least have the sense to know that this thing feels like more than I can do alone.  The problem is that I can't ask Will because he is (albeit very loving to us) a non-sentimental minimalist who feels no tie to anything material -- left alone in my "stuff" he is my worst nightmare.  So, I can't ask him for help but I need some.  A friend has agreed to come over tomorrow and help me decide how to organize things once I KonMari my house.  After she leaves, I plan to do the first step that I learned from the book, and get all of my clothes in one location at one time.
   Yep, that's what I said.  My instructions are to pile up all my clothes in one pile.  This includes shoes, snow boots, snow gear, hats, belts, socks, tops, pants, skirts, dresses, jackets, absolutely every single thing that I own that is wearable.  I'll put it in one spot and I will go through every single piece, touching it and deciding to keep or donate.  My bed won't hold all that stuff especially with the snow gear and I'm scared to put it in the living room floor because I already wonder what happens if (when) I get sidetracked and don't get it all sorted? How long will that pile lay there before we all go crazy? 
     I have a huge decision to make tonight and tomorrow before 10am.  Will I do the original challenge or KonMari?  The original plan was to break the house into 10 sections and organize two sections a week, finishing up in five weeks.  I had my head wrapped around that already and was very excited about it.  The KonMari method is so alien to me.  It involves organizing categories of stuff all at once, no matter what room.  That sounds like a huge mess I'll make and my family (who is already tired of my piles) is going to absolutely freak out.  I'm very busy with "life" and I'm scared to take on a crazy new idea that I'm not 100% will work for me.
     Do you smell the smoke?  It's my brain OVERTHINKING again.  This morning I was ready to become a consultant for this method of organizing and now I'm coming up with every reason I can to get away from it.  That's how I know it's the right thing for me to do - because it feels scary.  Perfectionists do not like scary - they like tried and true - actually they like for other people to try and prove it and then they may try it (within their own parameters of course).  Obviously, if I was efficient at organizing, it would have been done here already, so this time I'm going to trust the lady who has a 3month waiting list of people waiting for her to come to their homes and help them.
    Tomorrow..... I make a huge, scary, ugly, dirty, chaotic pile of my clothes in my living room.  If anybody wants to see it, come over at lunch time and bring your camera because my living room is going to be trashed!!

Day #1: Off and Running -- Like a Pretzel

     Today got started a little different than I had planned in my grand scheme of productivity.  I stayed up until 3am last night because I was so excited about today.  I downloaded "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: the Japanese art of decluttering and organizing," by Marie Kondo, following a suggestion from both my sister-in-law and a local friend.  They were spot on with this book!  I felt like I was reading my own writing; she is a Japanese "me" with the exception of how she learned the tricks at an early age.  How she feels is how I have felt as an adult, but I just didn't try things the way she did - until now.  Long story short, Vanessa did not wake up at 5am like she should have and so here I am after lunch and trying to squish in blog, cleaning kitchen, home school, feeding animals, getting my husband off to work after working all night, fighting kids, and a yard that is melting because our sub-zero temps just decided to climb to 28degrees.  Maybe this is why my house is a wreck.  

     Now, I am rethinking my plan for the next 5weeks because according to Ms. Kondo, I am headed down the same road I've always been on and I'm seemingly destined to fail at becoming clutter-free again.  Her words rang out to me like they were on a loud speaker.  YES!!  Everyone says "if you do the same thing over and over, you will get the same result," and being scientific-minded I know that is true.  So before I do anything here, I have to get my plan straight.  I have done this very same organizing in every home I have owned and here I am again in the same place.  In fact, I have things stored in my garage that were packed up in my home when I was 21 years old (I am 46 now!!).  Yes, I actually said THE SAME THINGS are packed up.  Apparently, I am going to get the same result this time and I refuse to waste time on that because I see where that method has gotten me, and I want more peaceful time with my family and less time moving junk around. 

     I was supposed to wake up today and start decluttering and organizing our master bedroom and our movie room (which is across the hall).  I thought I would work in the same general area of the house and move from one area to another.  I won't give away Mrs. Kondo's secrets because she is trying to sell her book (which is well worth it so far!) that describes her process, known as KonMari (based on a combination of her last and first name).  But, based off what I read so far I need to restructure my plan.

     Also,this morning my husband tells me that he has changed his plans for this weekend and now he wants to work on our daughter's bedroom. That is definitely going to take up my time because that means painting, putting in flooring, closing off a wall, and building a closet.  I am thinking it would be smart to start with her room and another room and have a partner to share this with (for that room at least).  I have to be flexible and I don't like to be flexible. I like things my way so I prayed about it and God is Good!  Almost instantaneously I had this vision of a straight line - it is NOT flexible, it is efficiently going somewhere, it is clearly seen, it is mission-oriented and it does not get off track.  Then, next to it I see a pretzel.  It used to be a straight line of dough but instead of heading off in it's own direction, it got twisted back and around onto itself.  It's energy is centralized, it is soft and comforting.  The path of the pretzel brings all of its salt, flavor, and love right back to itself (and it's family -- if you see where I'm headed with this) and it's structure is strong all because it was once flexible.  I want to be a pretzel to my family; not a rigid line. Specifically, I want to be an organized pretzel.

     One huge lesson for perfectionists........... LEARN TO FLEX!  But first, go buy this book!

Master Bedroom and Movie Room

     I thought hard about which room to start with and I chose my Master Bedroom for two reasons:  Me and Will.  We work so many hours, do so many things, and at some point in the day we would love to retire to a bedroom that offers rest, rejuvenation, and relaxation.  My mind ran rampant with ideas of canopy beds, billowy curtains, plush rugs stretching out from under a bed full of Mediterranean styled pillows and thick, silky covers.  The pallet wall behind my bed will be wired for bronze bedside lamps and the lush, tropical plants will fill the corners of the room.  An hour later, with a headache I realized I am on the same path of failure that plagues me and people like me - Perfectionists.

     I used to think a Perfectionist was someone who is perfect.  I thought they were organized, punctual, clean, polished (as my momma calls it), with bright white teeth and clean fingernails.  Ironically, many times just the opposite is true.  The perfectionists can be spotted from miles away.  They are the hectic people who sometimes do not accomplish anything because they wait for all the stars to line up, before they act on their goals.  In this case, I would normally turn this Challenge to Organize into a Challenge to Decorate and those two things are completely different.  So I am officially breaking this into two separate things.

     Monday, I will start to declutter and create organization in my home that will allow every single thing I own to have its own particular spot.  I will not waste anymore time moving things (my piles) around from one spot to another.  I will not pile up things right now, just because I'm not sure what to do with them.  I will waste no more time looking for things because I forgot where I put it.  When I am finished de-cluttering and organizing each room of my house, I'd like to turn around and start decorating more.  We have some big plans for our kitchen and upstairs bathroom but those aren't things I will do in two weeks.

     I will start with the Master Bedroom on Monday morning.  I think the first step should be to remove anything and everything that does not match my goal for that room.  What's my goal for that room?  I don't 100% know but I will on Monday!!  My incentive to hurry is that if I finish organizing the current area within the timeline I have, then I can start decorating;  but I can only decorate up until my time runs out for that room.  Any decorating project that is not 100% finished, can not stay - so that will keep me from starting big projects that I can not finish.

     My entire house is broken into ten areas but I did not include the garage because it is a monster!  I have to do complete two areas each week, to finish in five weeks.  So you see how this can not be a "decorating" challenge!  I am going to show y'all how my house looks on a normal day so it may or may not be clean the way it would be if company was going to come over.  My momma may just go into hiding when she sees this go public; and for goodness sake don't show my Granny how much dog hair is under my couch!!  I am going to show very personal stuff and I hope you will all follow the blog and leave me comments and suggestions!  If you think of great decorating ideas, please send them in!!  My ten areas are:

(1) Master Bedroom

(2) Movie Room

(3) Hallway and Bathroom Upstairs

(4) Kitchen and Living Room

(5) Front door foyer and stairs

(6) Foyer at bottom of stairs (school room maybe)

(7) Ellie's bedroom & Garrett's bedroom

(8) Laundry Room and Bathroom downstairs

(9) Sewing Room/Craft Room

(10) Front Porch and Back Deck